Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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