what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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