Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

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(512): View more from Texas

hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.

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(443): View more from Maryland

My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.

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(406): View more from Montana

Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

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(815): View more from Illinois

grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.

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(979): View more from Texas

if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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(716): View more from New York

Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

What happened last night dude?

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!

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