Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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