Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
