I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
