i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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