I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize