He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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