Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize