why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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