This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
