you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
