She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Randomize
