i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
