remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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