Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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