U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
