So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
another moral hangover. fuck.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
