I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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