VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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