I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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