2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
