Sponge bath it is.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize