There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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