either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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