not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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