your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
