he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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