Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize