how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
