Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
