So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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