Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
