Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
