Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
