i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
