Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
