I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
