the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Girls should come with a carfax report
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
