But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
