I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
