Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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