4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
