Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
