I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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