I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize