Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
