When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
