Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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