You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
