Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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