just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
