i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
