Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
