i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
