god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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