do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
