I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
