You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
