just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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