and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
