Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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