don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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