I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
