just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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