I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
