Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just high enough for therapy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
