Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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