But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
