I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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