Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
