these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Small penises have feelings too.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
