should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
