and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
